and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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