just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
