Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
