Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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