As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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