i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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