I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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