Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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