I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
