just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
