don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
