8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
