So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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