Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
