would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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