I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
