Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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