I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
