and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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