Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
