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that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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