Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.

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  (708): We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan. http://tfl.nu/28ik
  Replies (22) Good night (4843) Bad night (501)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..

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  (816): this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live.. http://tfl.nu/uh98
  Replies (35) Good night (1659) Bad night (3165)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"

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  (414): I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics" http://tfl.nu/bnvl
  Replies (6) Good night (1051) Bad night (3822)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship

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  (803): I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship http://tfl.nu/p7or
  Replies (15) Good night (3707) Bad night (1709)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.

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  (503): well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up. http://tfl.nu/zf7z
  Replies (16) Good night (1055) Bad night (4134)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.

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  (775): Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now. http://tfl.nu/j6eo
  Replies (11) Good night (3993) Bad night (737)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you

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  (541): you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you http://tfl.nu/5gma
  Replies (9) Good night (4752) Bad night (827)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.

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  (412): he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with. http://tfl.nu/jmfl
  Replies (13) Good night (5480) Bad night (1269)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt

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  (317): We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt http://tfl.nu/hqwl
  Replies (12) Good night (3136) Bad night (789)
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  (661): View more from California

  i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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  (661): i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean http://tfl.nu/gpjf
  Replies (14) Good night (4047) Bad night (909)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.

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  (309): Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime. http://tfl.nu/y0wv
  Replies (8) Good night (2069) Bad night (892)
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  (619): View more from California

  i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door

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  (619): i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door http://tfl.nu/jy3b
  Replies (10) Good night (1901) Bad night (1068)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back

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  (540): I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back http://tfl.nu/d3ys
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (358)
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  (858): View more from California

  we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.

  (858): View more from California

  Where did he get the tophat?

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  (858): we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat. (858): Where did he get the tophat? http://tfl.nu/1w08
  Replies (5) Good night (841) Bad night (230)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.

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  (865): I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science. http://tfl.nu/16xh
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (177)

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