at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.