i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine