Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

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  (612): Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg http://tfl.nu/5ras
  Replies (19) Good night (908) Bad night (3839)
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  (818): View more from California

  so... thinking about masturbating finally

  (661): View more from California

  taking the losers way out I see

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  (818): so... thinking about masturbating finally (661): taking the losers way out I see http://tfl.nu/lnxg
  Replies (14) Good night (668) Bad night (2810)
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  (818): View more from California

  Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

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  (818): Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire. http://tfl.nu/r0t1
  Replies (39) Good night (930) Bad night (3144)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

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  (215): The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room. http://tfl.nu/3nsa
  Replies (86) Good night (40499) Bad night (2240)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring

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  (816): we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring http://tfl.nu/1aqf
  Replies (24) Good night (7142) Bad night (1627)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

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  (517): Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/mubr
  Replies (10) Good night (5490) Bad night (864)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

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  (630): Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad. http://tfl.nu/cvju
  Replies (2) Good night (959) Bad night (1765)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.

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  (417): I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/1dwn
  Replies (11) Good night (991) Bad night (1977)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?

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  (317): do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards? http://tfl.nu/y683
  Replies (16) Good night (2196) Bad night (1035)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.

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  (307): The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity. http://tfl.nu/x8mh
  Replies (2) Good night (1265) Bad night (600)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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  (701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia
  Replies (17) Good night (2618) Bad night (557)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed

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  (425): I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed http://tfl.nu/xp1l
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (263)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out

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  (440): so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out http://tfl.nu/ke1e
  Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (622)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.

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  (352): This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is. http://tfl.nu/atl3
  Replies (1) Good night (1195) Bad night (258)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress

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  (+44): I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress http://tfl.nu/f8qv
  Replies (1) Good night (272) Bad night (110)

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