alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
