Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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