dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
