I only kidnapped one of them. chill
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
