just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
