it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
