Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
