oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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