Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
