I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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