Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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