nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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