Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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