Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
