You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
