You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
