i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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