Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
