Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
