only if we run a train.
done.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
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Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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