i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
