apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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