it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
