kristin has been a bad kristin
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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