While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
