This girl is more easily done than said...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
