im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize