Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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