i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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