is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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