i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
