Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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