You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's blow job season.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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