so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How naked do you want me to be?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
