So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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