I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize