i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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