new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
