He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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