After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
