Don't you send me to vm
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
